You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
cat food counts as protein by the way
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
