Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
