You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
