Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
