and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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