I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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