When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
