pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
