so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
