pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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