My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize