Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
