Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize