No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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