dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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