i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
