Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
