I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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