apparently the secret to your success is patron
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
