I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
All the doctor said was why
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
