Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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