I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
