marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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