i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
