Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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