How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
