5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just blew my weed a kiss
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
