here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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