She is in my trunk
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
