Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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