His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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