he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just cropdusted the office
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dick very happy bro
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