I'm eating all of the evidence.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
