now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My vagina is officially offended.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
