WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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