i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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