i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
