I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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