sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize