I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
