I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
