Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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