I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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