He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
