the new term for farting is butt boxing.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
