if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
