i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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