So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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