in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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