just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
