Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
