You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
