i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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