Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
