just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
