Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize