how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
