Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
