So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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